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Here Are Your Weekend Horoscopes For October 20th-22nd

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Posted on : October 22, 2017

That’s right, we’re back on our bullshit. Here’s another dose of weekend horoscopes in haiku style, because why take an entire paragraph to say what 17 syllables can communicate so eloquently? Brevity is the soul of wit, but it also makes reading at work less of a liability. Enjoy!

Aries

It doesn’t matter
as much as you think it does.
Stop losing your shit.

Taurus

Love is in the air!
Wait. No. That’s not love, is it?
Oh. That’s spite. My bad.

Gemini

What were you doing
when you should have been sleeping?
Probably not worth it.

Cancer

Feelings are valid.
That doesn’t mean people care.
Vent judiciously.

Leo

It’s time to wake up.
You’re the life of the party.
Start acting like it.

Virgo

Real life starts next week.
Use this time to live it up.
Savor the freedom.

Libra

Rolling stones gather
no moss. But who cares? Moss sucks.
Roll on. Stay moss free.

Scorpio

Birthdays are coming.
Time to break out that old crown.
Never dull your shine.

Sagittarius

Ignore the haters.
They’ll talk shit no matter what.
Live louder. Be bold.

Capricorn

When choosing between
two impossible options,
enlist vodka’s help.

Aquarius

Hell hath no fury
like you when you are restless.
Stay busy. Find peace.

Pisces

Don’t be fooled, Pisces.
Silver linings aren’t assured.
Work for your good luck.

 

Read more: http://www.betches.com/weekend-horoscopes-ocotober-20-17

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